Having a home

My parents bought a house as an investment property. I settled on the house in their absence yesterday.

The best part is... I get to live in the house and make it my own. There's something very exciting about having a home of your own. Even though I don't own it (yet), it still feels more permanent than anything I've done or had before.

The house needs a lot of work, and I am so blessed to be able to take part in the renovation process. Next week we'll start cleaning up and hauling out trash, and then the contractors come!

Here's a few pics to wet your appetite. Be ready for an awesome finished product!

Clarity

I just can't seem to find clarity right now.

It's not that I haven't prayed for it, because I have. I seek counsel in friends and professionals. And yet, I still don't have a clear understanding of my life at this juncture.

My last post described the transformation I've had in the last year. But, I guess what I am starting to learn is that no matter how much transformation we experience here on earth, we're never done growing, learning, evolving, and transforming into who we are to be.

Transformation doesn't come easily for me. I'm a stubborn person. So while, the last year has been amazing, I was resistant to many changes that have occurred. And on the other hand, I feel like I had to learn to be so flexible in certain situations, I lost sight of my part, and who I was.

For right now, I think I have to be content to know that stability is not an option. At least not in the sense of everything remaining the same. I can be stable and hang onto my friends, family and morals, while the world changes all around me. The funny thing is, as messy as it gets, I still want to be a part of it all. I don't want to miss this time. I cannot shut my eyes and wish it to be over.

Growth & Hope

Before you read this... check out the before and after in these pics. The pic on top was late 2006 at a friend's cabin with some girls from my bible study ( I'm the one sticking out my tongue). The pic on the bottom was several weeks ago, when I was in a friend's wedding (I'm in the middle).

In the last 18 months or so, life has taken some major turns. I mean major. Conviction in all areas of my life started to set in, and I had no choice but to start making decisions. Some decisions were without a doubt right, but others were just the best solution at that moment.

The relationship and lifestyle changes that have occured because of the decisions I started making were difficult to say the least.

I had to make myself a priority last year, which was very strange, and a foreign concept for women in the Christian faith. It really wasn't selfish, it was self care. I hadn't been paying attention to my spiritual, physical or emotional health. When God gave me life he entrusted me with this body, mind and soul to use for His good purpose. But I wasn't healthy, and therefore couldn't be used to my full potential.

What if God had wanted me to pick up and go climb some mountain? I wouldn't have been able to do so for several reasons. First, I was extremely overweight. Second, I was in debt. Third, emotionally I just wasn't prepared for that sort of challenge. Fourth, I didn't know how to let go and trust God (still learning this!!).

So what changes have I made? I started seeing a counselor... wow, what a difference that made in my life! After I dealt with several issues in my life, I was really able to concentrate on my weight issue, and how my current lifestyle was contributing to that. Running was my new best friend, I literally ran my butt off. Relationships have simply changed. Accountability has been such a blessing. Whether through my accountability partner or through the bible study I'm involved in, other women speaking into my life has been incredibly important.

In the last several weeks I've seen some hope in even the worst of situations. It seems healing has come to certain relationships. I am so thankful for the growth in my life, and the lessons I keep learning. It's not that I don't mess up constantly, it's just that I seem to recognize the pitfalls much sooner, and deal with them accordingly.

I hope this trend continues, I pray it does.