Clarity

I just can't seem to find clarity right now.

It's not that I haven't prayed for it, because I have. I seek counsel in friends and professionals. And yet, I still don't have a clear understanding of my life at this juncture.

My last post described the transformation I've had in the last year. But, I guess what I am starting to learn is that no matter how much transformation we experience here on earth, we're never done growing, learning, evolving, and transforming into who we are to be.

Transformation doesn't come easily for me. I'm a stubborn person. So while, the last year has been amazing, I was resistant to many changes that have occurred. And on the other hand, I feel like I had to learn to be so flexible in certain situations, I lost sight of my part, and who I was.

For right now, I think I have to be content to know that stability is not an option. At least not in the sense of everything remaining the same. I can be stable and hang onto my friends, family and morals, while the world changes all around me. The funny thing is, as messy as it gets, I still want to be a part of it all. I don't want to miss this time. I cannot shut my eyes and wish it to be over.